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Powerball quotes

Posted by TJ on Sunday January 10, 2016 @ 03:23 AM
[Tags: humor, status, toplist]

W ell since no one won Saturday’s Powerball. below are some funny status messages or tweets related to the Powerball or the lottery.

If you like these you can browse more related funny status messages here: http://tjshome.com/statusmessages.php.

  1. 53516X I can’t wait ’til I’m rich enough to throw things away that accidentally fall in the toilet. Submitted: 04-15-2011 15:16 by Marshall the Great
  2. 143447X says Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport Submitted: 01-10-2014 05:35 by Huck
  3. 118046X to do list: 1. win powerball 2. delete Facebook account Submitted: 11-28-2012 14:14
  4. 81784X If I ever become rich and famous, I won’t forget my friends. They will be a fond and nostalgic memory. Submitted: 12-03-2011 18:43 by Aaron
  5. 130390X says I want you all to know, if I win the Powerball tonight. I’m still going to show up to Facebook tomorrow. Submitted: 05-15-2013 18:11 by sully
  6. 126767X is I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast. Submitted: 03-22-2013 21:19 by BEGO
  7. 95408X If I win the lottery, all of my neighbors are going to be rich. I’m going to move to a rich neighborhood! Submitted: 03-30-2012 16:48
  8. 43667X One day I want to be “Let’s Just Take My Helicopter” rich. Submitted: 01-23-2011 15:23 by Marshall the Great
  9. 28551X I’d like to be so rich that my dog has a dog. Submitted: 08-08-2010 02:22
  10. 129141X is Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn’t going according to plan. Submitted: 04-25-2013 12:08 by JEBI
  11. 41764X flights booked, lawyer called, cars ordered, mansion picked out. now I just need my lotto numbers to hit. Submitted: 01-04-2011 21:00
  12. 88567X says Your chances of dying on the way to buying a lotto ticket are greater than your chances of winning. Submitted: 01-29-2012 10:00
  13. 117963X I want to be rich enough to appreciate ugly art. Submitted: 11-27-2012 09:52 by Marshall the Great
  14. 57568X says with my luck I would win the lotto then the world would end the day after Submitted: 05-20-2011 08:57
  15. 142555X If I ever get rich, the first thing I’m going to do is start calling my comforter a duvet. And then maybe I’ll learn all the names for lettuce. Submitted: 12-22-2013 18:20 by snotty
  16. 156026X says if I was rich, I’d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch Submitted: 01-25-2015 06:03 by andrew jackson
  17. 95434X is To all of you who posted your lotto numbers: I copied them and played them too. If you win, I win. And I get half. Think of it as a pre-emptive divorce. Submitted: 03-30-2012 23:12
  18. 128136X says I want rich people problems. Like where to park my yacht. Submitted: 04-12-2013 07:50
  19. 95350X says You do know that you stand a better chance of being attacked by a polar ninja than winning the megamillions Submitted: 03-30-2012 09:55 by flinnie
  20. 60454X When I’m rich, I’m going to dictate my status updates to my secretary, and my butler will press the share button. Submitted: 06-14-2011 11:42
  21. 134993X says I don’t blame Monday. I blame Saturday for not matching my Powerball numbers :/ Submitted: 08-05-2013 10:35 by PostKing
  22. 28829X is The biggest family reunions take place on the Powerball winner’s front porch. Submitted: 08-12-2010 12:25 by Gr

Apes

  • 135086X Remember. your odds of winning Powerball are much lower than being hit by a car. Especially if I’m driving and see you in line for a ticket. Submitted: 08-07-2013 13:17 by snotty
  • 163392X is Hoping that Steve Harvey isn’t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight! Submitted: 01-09-2016 09:13
  • 131545X is How much will the $590 million Powerball winner pay in taxes? The IRS says they won’t know until they learn if she’s a Republican or a Democrat. Submitted: 06-06-2013 03:04
  • 94736X says You know those people that totally screw up their lives when they win the lottery? I would like to be one of those people. Submitted: 03-24-2012 06:26 by flinnie
  • 2068X says says, “If you want something in life, you have to work hard for it. Now shut up! They’re about to announce the winning lottery numbers!” Submitted: 04-08-2009 06:34
  • 38550X If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I’m doing with my winnings is hiring Morgan Freeman to read me bedtime stories. Submitted: 12-01-2010 15:10
  • 141850X says If I ever win the lottery, I’d stay the same person I am today. My poor decisions, however, will become gloriously epic. Submitted: 12-11-2013 05:35
  • 156472X says If I won the lottery, I don’t think I would change much. I’d still be the same asshole, just one in a helicopter. Submitted: 02-12-2015 11:11
  • 26020X You post one little joke saying you won the lottery and Facebook finds you 1,347 new possible relatives. Submitted: 07-06-2010 17:25 by Joser
    X When I grow up I’d like to be a “Retired Lottery Winner.” Submitted: 08-28-2010 04:57 by MBH
  • 142273X I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night! Submitted: 12-18-2013 08:25
  • 118169X Missed the winning lottery number only by 6 numbers. Submitted: 11-30-2012 09:37 by MWC
  • 145897X You have a better chance of falling out of an airplane, landing on a trampoline, bouncing back up in the sky and getting hit by the same airplane than you do of winning the lottery, yet people continue to plunk down paycheck after paycheck… Submitted: 02-20-2014 15:53
  • 125145X The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. Submitted: 03-01-2013 14:35 by Marshall the Great
  • 18739X Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won’t spoil me. Submitted: 04-06-2010 02:24 by Joser
  • 160895X I wonder if the Lottery is an institution to catch time travelers. Submitted: 08-28-2015 14:59
  • 152238X says I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same Submitted: 08-20-2014 02:34 by Baddie
  • 107622X is No joke, if I win the lottery I’m buying a full tank of gas! Submitted: 07-29-2012 14:57 by StonerDudee
  • 32642X is You know things are tough when my retirement plan consist of playing the lottery 🙁 Submitted: 09-29-2010 09:53 by Mark
  • You can browse thousands more of our funny status messages here: http://tjshome.com/statusmessages.php Good Luck.

    Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

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    Powerball quotes Posted by TJ on Sunday January 10, 2016 @ 03:23 AM [ Tags: humor, status, toplist] W ell since no one won Saturday’s Powerball. below are some funny status messages or ]]>