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Woman Drops Tithing to Eight Percent until God Answers Lottery Prayer

Tough economy is trickling up.

photo credit: Robert S. Donovan

AIRLY DEVOUT Lutheran Clarice Devers has announced to friends and family that she will soon lower her church tithing from the customary ten percent down to a “protest level” of eight percent for what she feels is “God’s refusal to answer over twenty years of faithful prayer in regards to my winning the Mega Millions lottery.”

Citing the shaky U.S. economy, Ms. Devers claims that “now is the time, if ever there was one” for God to answer her prayers to win the multi-million-dollar Mega Millions jackpot.

“We’re all having to cut back in these hard times,” explained the feisty Lutheran, “and if God can’t see fit to answer a twenty-year prayer of mine, then I guess He’s going to have to feel the hurt a little, too.”

Citing an Oprah show featuring a lottery winner whose prayers, according to Ms. Winfrey herself, had quite clearly been answered, Ms. Devers looked up at the sky and asked, “WTF, Lord?” The question turned out to be rhetorical, as no reply was given.

“You see what I’m dealing with here,” said Ms. Devers.

If God does answer her prayer, the Lottery Lutheran promises to immediately restore tithing to the standard ten percent, “until I’m back on my feet,” and then increase her church offerings “commensurate with my lottery winnings.”

Ms. Devers provided the following example: “Say God answers my prayer when the jackpot is at the minimum $20 million. That’s not the same as answering when it’s $300 million. You do the math.”

Woman Drops Tithing to Eight Percent until God Answers Lottery Prayer Tough economy is trickling up. photo credit: Robert S. Donovan AIRLY DEVOUT Lutheran Clarice Devers has announced to

Lucky priest has prayers answered with another lottery win

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An Irish priest has scooped €500,000 (£444,000) in the EuroMillions while home for Christmas.

The retired cleric must have someone looking over him as it isn’t the first time he’s won big on the lottery.

He’s won £15,000 on the old Irish Sweepstakes and thousands of dollars in lotteries while living in Florida.

The lucky priest, who is originally from County Mayo, joked that God must be listening to his prayers as he pledged to share his winnings with those in need.

‘I suppose you can say I am lucky. But I have always had a policy of sharing my luck around,’ the priest said.

‘That is something that my late mother taught me, and something that was also drummed into me when I was a young priest by a bishop.

‘I am a big believer that what goes around comes around.

‘This is a huge amount of money and I look forward to giving some back.’

He collected his prize in the National Lottery offices in Dublin after buying another lottery ticket in Donnybrook Fair.

The priest said he heard that one of the two winning EuroMillions Plus tickets had been purchased in the Donnybrook Fair outlet.

‘I didn’t get too excited when I heard this first,’ he said.

‘I went back to the shop and gave the ticket to the same girl I had purchased it from to be checked.

‘Lo and behold there was a message on the system to contact the National Lottery. So I knew at that stage I had won.’

An Irish priest has scooped €500,000 (£444,000) in the EuroMillions while home for Christmas. The retired cleric must have someone looking over him as it isn’t the first time he’s… ]]>